my wife doesn't touch me sexually anymore

If a couple's sex life continues to follow a routine that doesn't tend to feel good for the woman, she may lose interest in having sex entirely. I have a simple fix for all this. I feel very blessed, because my gynecologist put me on low dose hormone therapy. A dip in intimacy can be brought on by several factors new responsibilities, changing priorities, biological and physiological changes. by *someone!! It is one of the classic signs of a cheating wife and if your gut tells you somethings up, it may be worth investigating it a bit further. Research shows that sexual communication was strongly associated with increased relationship satisfaction and heightened orgasm frequency in women. And its been going that way for years. Feel like I wasted my life!!! If the sex is all about you, its no surprise that your partner may not want to indulge in it. I work part time at a day care and I find that when I havent gotten sleep the night before, my patience with the kids is really tested. But in practice, no one is equal. This is especially true of couples in their 40s and 50s, or those who have been married more than 10-15 years. I dont have a problem with a sexless marriage, in fact I created it in our marriage. I want to turn things around and not give up but its a huge blow to what I thought marriage and my life would be. Come as You Are: The Surprising New Science that Will Transform Your Sex Life. * Now Im in my mid-50s, but have no problems whatsoever getting primed for sex. Shes my childhood sweetheart, has a lovely personality, a wonderful mother and a very sexy body and persona to boot.. We are peas in a pod. Frankly, Im ready for a change of scene because this is like living with someone who it seems might be happier living off by himself. Blah blah blah. For fucks sake man. She is 33. Laura. My only suggestion would be to get out of this marriage and fast. Perhaps your husband, as well as a few troglodytes posting here, are in need of some attitude adjustments, but you shouldnt paint all men with the same brush. Invariably, its a case of emotional intimacy missing. It is a precursor and will stimulate the Adrenal glands to produce more testosterone. I know couples who watch it together and I believe my wife and her friend are closed minded and in denial of their contribution, or lack thereof in being that person who can meet the wants and needs of their husbands. The situations here are not just issues for straight couples. 2. I dont mean to downgrade the pain someone feels with this, but there are levels to everything. I realize this rant may seem to be about my needs, but I think I deserve the right to a fulfilling life. Unfortunately, my wife is 62 and has given up interest in sex and affection of any type. Arguments and maltreatment are nothing to put up with. Ive been led to believe Im the selfish one for thinking of leaving just over sex. I hear ya. When we DO have intimacy, it usually comprises me masturbating until she finishes me with her mouth (which she still likes to do) and her using one of those power vibrators that sound like a jackhammer to get herself off. I always aimEd to please her with oral sex preceded by lots of massaging, rubbing, kissing etc. Why Doesn't My Wife Want Me Anymore - Is Our Sex Life Over A little over 43 without sex, or dealing with her, I do my own thing and dont really care what she does. So I backed off of seeing this person. 24 years younger than I. When they stop they stop. Wills comment is more true than not (and certainly not far from true). It's possible that your wife is no longer attracted to you or perhaps no longer interested in being married to youthough just note, a lowered libido alone is not necessarily indicative of a larger problem with the relationship. Like I have a total stranger as a house guest. Now I definitely feel more like the odd woman out after reading all those men complaining about lack of sex!I am 45 had a hysterectomy 3 years ago, so menopause was forced on me.I still feel like a horny B*** latina! Best of luck to you! Theres more to life than that, theres more to life than escapingtheres connecting deeper with your partner, taking more trips, spending more time together, learning more skills, building or supporting others together, getting involved in your communities more! I was reading the original story and that exactly my life. Being refused is an essential part of the life of a person who is proactive in getting his or her wants met. Just arent attracted to him anymore? A husband must shoehorn that sex drive into the confines of marriage, where only his wife can accommodate it. I really just want to be wanted the way I want her, sexually or not, to just be valued as a committed, loving husband. Anyway, I think when one person in a marriage comes to the point my husband is at and apparently yours is too a therapist is really the only answer. If your wife avoids intimacy and this lack of intimacy is beginning to take a toll on your marital bliss, it is time to have an honest conversation with your spouse. Resentment Colors your entire relationship gray. That lie: its not important, only if you want it. We must have sex or blow up, not a choice. Why do women marry a good provider and run around with the empty pocket young studs? Empathy builds into emotional intimacy, and often this is what she needs first before opening up to something physical. If you notice intimacy is fading from your marriage, heres what to do when your wife wont touch you. But we dont have sex or make love or anything you want to call it! , motherhood, or work anxiety can cause your wife to feel too overwhelmed for intimacy. Thrown into menopause way too young. Here are some reasons that your wife might never initiate getting intimate with you in the bedroom. We love them. Hi Mary We cant really talk about it because the very subject causes her great depression because she feels like its all her fault and that she is failure as a lover. If your wife is struggling with mental health concerns, anxiety, or depression that are not being handled professionally, gently encourage her to talk with someone about how shes feeling. She may begin to stop seeing herself as a sexual being as she assumes the role of mother, a role that society often strongly desexualizes. I miss the simple things. Talk to your wife about the lack of intimacy, 11 Lovely Ways To Date Your Spouse Spice Up YourMarriage, 200 Newlywed Game Questions For That Instant Bonding, 45 Questions To Ask Your Husband For A Heart-To-Heart Conversation, Why Is Marriage Important? My wife determined several years ago that she no longer has that connection to me, and will eventually leave. Sex is a HUGE part of a marriage, are you kidding me? Senior Planets comments are open for all readers/subscribers; we love hearing from you! My wife avoids spending time with me. If this is a real concern for you then ask yourself was there ever any infidelity or cheating on your part? I know that feeling of the Phone etc being more important. Wow! If your vagina is dry, find out why. We are just roommates. I had a few clients who had a baby and found it difficult to start getting physically intimate with their spouses again because theyre not comfortable with their bodies, says Gopa. I also think they pretend to be happy. Is it so horrible if I want to snuggle with her? What we have Ive worked very hard to achieve. Its been over three months since weve had sex. Shes just not attracted to me and personally, Im not sure she ever was. The nipple is not an on and off switch. I hate her for cheating me out of sex. If they did, they would be taking care of business! I hope the partner didnt expect to share the celibacy. This is a huge problem, how can I live with someone who feels this way? Take care of your body and mind! Isnt going to happen. Sigh . He retired a decade ago against my wishes. People might think Im lonely but Im not, I work alone and I get all the right answers talking to my self. Step out of your own hurt feelings and into her world. I became completely numb to anything. As I explained before on seniorplanet.org, spontaneous desire just happens, while responsive desire only happens after a womans body starts getting aroused. Im 65, shes 70. Whats more, you are not doomed to be in a sexless marriage! Before I married my second wife, Vicky told me she made a terrible mistake, still loves me and wanted back. He worked constantly on the mid night shift away from me. 7. She claims to always be tired anyway. I self reflected and starting cooking again, especially on her late nights. I really miss a girlfriend I used to have who loved giving me oral sex. I see my friend for an outing about 2X/month. Been married 20 years . Don't Touch MeI'm Your Wife! | Psychology Today No love no sex. Two years and counting, its got me climbing the walls! Cause it needs done. As for porn, I dont mind it at all when he watches it (though he thinks I never see him), after all, we are all human and have drives and needs. If you are tired of initiating intimacy and your wife doesnt want sex anymore, it may be time to consider marriage counseling. I tried internet sex and while interesting it is not enough. We are both in our Sixties now and have been married for over 35 years and apart for a few occasions, birthdays etc my wife just hasnt been interested. I love my wife dearly after 52 years and great grandchildren I would have my junk removed before I hurt my family and our long marriage is a point of great pride and example for these people God allowed us to have in our lives. I understand the frustration, I have tried talking with my wife and have even said, if the problem was with me, I would be in a doctors office tomorrow! When we go out, all I see are happy couples who show affection and love. */ I fear I will never know physically intimacy again in this marriage, I keep holding out hope, which is why I stay. Want to have a happier, healthier marriage? Food shape. Weve been in counseling for a year. he is very persistent. Or you can try and find a willing partner. Hmmm. But unfortunately I do feel that it is my fault I just wish I knew what and that I could make it better. Ive been accepting of her feelings and expectations. The children I mention are my children from a prior marriage and I do 100% of everything for them without any help from her. Too bad; I truly live him but I dont need the stress. I married, not for love but because was told I could do worse. You begin to see the problem. I think it was William Shakespeare who pondered what an irony it was that desire usually so outlasts ability. Also add to the equation what is another possibility here: sexual coercion. She snores loudly and we have different bedrooms. Thats abusive and hurtful too. Give her some time to destress by setting up a candlelit bath with her favorite essential oils and bath soak. Its a shame when a marriage reaches this point because so much of both people were invested in it at the beginning and for quite a while. I say bullshit to every man and women experiencing no sex in a relationship if they want it with their partner. I read this with interest. That feeling lasts for several days afterwards. Adding, However, just because your wife avoids physical contact doesnt necessarily mean theres bound to be infidelity involved. Its at least mean . Why would he ever have too? I just dont understand. Wish I could off you more of a solution but I think things either go on the way they are or there has to be come conclusion. Therapy will help you identify the issues underlying the lack of sex, teach you how to communicate more effectively, give you strategies for regaining your intimacy if shes willing, and tools for coping if shes not, and offer you the boost you need to work on your relationship. Men provide protection, stability, and resources. I say I know exactly what youre taking about because my wife has had four back surgeries and we have sex RARELY! If your husband rejects your hugs, kisses, and touch, there's something wrong. But here I sit.pissed off. When we were young, we had sex every single day. I want that back in my life as well! But, if we actually *wish* to engage our brains, we do have the brains that God gave us, the brains through with which we can engage in thoughtful interpretation of facts. If theres no intimacy in your marriage from your wife and youve realized that she may be suffering through mental health issues, Bonobologys panel of experienced therapists can help guide your partner through this turbulent time, and perhaps re-establish the harmonious relationship you yearn for. Talk to your wife about the lack of intimacy and work through your issues together, as a team. I spoil her all the time. Find someone who finds you attractive, become more attractive, get in shape (thats key). Hopefully I will die and be out of this misery. This is relevant for anyone with anxiety about their body (which, unfortunately, is true for the vast majority of women), but it may be particularly relevant for women as they age, go through childbirth, or simply experience changes to their body over time. My first wife and I married when we were 21. you probably love your husband, or at least the person he once was when you were first together. She is just plain not sexually attracted to me. And we sacrifice ourselves for them. I work, cook, clean, fix I dont drink or do any drugs. Its a disturbing trap that you must avoid. In all likelihood, you went the extra mile to dress up for her, look good, smell good and stay groomed in anticipation of getting some action. I actually stopped having sex with her last night because she told me to hurry up. Now its gotten where I cant get hard when Im with her, Im sure its mental causes. I hear ya Jose! Sex ended, period. It pains Mike and me to hear that women can suffer this way too. */ Im too tired. So Mike, I dont know what to say. State your case to your partners. I was married for 24 years. In recent times, our sex life has begun to resemble our early 20s again, even better because contraception is in the rearview mirror. I love her. I dont know what kind of slob you were married to, but maybe he rolled over and fell asleep because you were so boring and disinterested. My wife and I are in our 60s, very active and in good health. But now living with you is not what she thought it would be and she closes shop on you. 2 children later sex was still fun. and I feel I have been cheated. You need to find a woman who respects you and wants to be intimate with you on a consistent basis. A womans lack of interest in physical intimacy can be quite an intriguing puzzle to solve. Damn was I a dumbass. My wife I encourage to have her hobbies and she is a nice person. Either her body and hormones are so off that she needs the support of . But when I try to go to the next level. Feeling loved and getting affection, including sex is important to me. The wife does not want to start sex and me asking her OVER and OVER and OVER got to her and her rejections and excuses got to me felt like there is always some excuse. I am sorry but I think thats just nuts. They seem just as happy as any other married couple. We are all just CroMagnon reborn. I get it and don't want to add to her stress. Will: I was very disturbed to read your post. I dont look my age at all! My wife will listen to my concerns about sex, but will not take hormone supplementation because of the science which indicates it can cause cancer in rare cases. She like others doesnt want intimacy or sex, which I could deal with for the most part but then she makes remarks about me masturbating or watching porn. The wife never initiates physical contact if shes unhappy with the strength of the relationship, says Gopa. Thank you for recognizing a very very bad situation and trying to remedy.

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