we broke up and he got another girl pregnant

If you are a woman, if you just met a guy, and if you become pregnant, you can get 20+ years of child support. April 10, 2012, 6:23 pm, P.S. She told him she got pregnant on the pill, which I think is a lot of cod wallop. I Got Another Girl Pregnant Prank *WE BROKE UP SIGH* April 9, 2012, 9:31 pm. Hell of course express things in a way that maximizes the chance of him not doing any more to hurt the LW than necessary. Any woman who cant see the pleasure in such a sacrifice is too selfish to be in a relationship. The letter implies that the only protection used was the birth control. There is no 100 percent way to prevent pregnancy. That was his choice, but what hes done is made you feel sorry for him. While I realize that this is a stressful situation, your letter indicates that you will always harbor resentment for this child and this woman who will be in you and your boyfriends lives FOREVER. He sounds wholly unlikable so I think its doubtful she wants anything to do with him, especially now. So, this man had sex with a women while he was unattached and not under any commitment, and that makes him scum?. Shed be less of a real woman if she left the kid on its fathers doorstep and went off footloose and fancy-free while he was left to raise it all alone. Life is unfair. Once again its the way the LW and the bf (at least the way the LW is presenting his reactions) acted about the potential baby that are rubbing people the wrong way. Whether those parents planned it or not they need to be there for that kid and not just dump it becuase you feel like it. SweetsAndBeats April 9, 2012, 5:19 pm, Its easy to think the guy is a scumbag for not wanting to be a dad. Because once the innocent kid is here, the fact that he/she was an accident does not mean he/she has less of a need for supportive, involved parents. Youre wondering if he will marry her. How silly I have been. You seem too whiny for most womens taste. Yep. If the woman wants to abort, then she can, but thats a decision she has to make because its happening inside her own body. Months after we broke up, he would come and go as he pleased. Like raising a child is easy. Youre more than welcome. John Rohan because it is the womans responsibility to take her pill on time, etc if thats the type of birth control shes chosen. CollegeCat April 9, 2012, 9:19 pm, Note I said 99% of PEOPLE in that situation, not women. Thank you again from the bottom of my heart. I was devastated. Well, ok. But early on, this is not an inevitable outcome, and if only one person wants the child, the other should be able to not be obligated. I dont think its necessarily fair. The idea that he actually said I would prefer if you had an abortion is laughable. There is a certain degree of sadness in all of this, yes, but Ive turned out far better than my friends whose fathers have been unable to make up their minds one way or another about parenthood. Pregnancy by deception? You deserve each other! I agree with you, as well. He wont be a deadbeat dad, as some have suggested. A condoms like 50 cents. April 9, 2012, 1:15 pm. LW, why are you directing all of your anger at this other woman? He could have been one of those unforunate souls that DID protect himself, even with the womans added protection, and it still resulted in a child. He also said he is furious with this women for wanting to keep the child, because they were only together for 2 minutes. Abortion and adoption are both horrifying thoughts to Susie but she has no choice. The timing was exactly right. SweetsAndBeats we broke up and he got another girl pregnant. In other cases, receiving a text from an ex can immediately bring up feelings of annoyance, dread or even fear particularly if the relationship was a toxic and unhappy one that you want distance from. This doesnt arise from the rights of the mother. April 9, 2012, 1:28 pm. Because hes treating the mother of his child, and his child, with such disdain and disregarding his responsibility to him/her. The woman accepts the ejaculate what she does with it is now her business, and her business alone. Identical twin men: one is an IVF doctor, one is a carpenter. April 10, 2012, 5:55 pm, Heterophobe, hmmm, thats new one. Even if you wore a condom. Im not questioning the reality of the situation Im questioning the inherent fairness of the law today. So, if she opted for an abortion and he was furious with her for not keeping the baby, would he be scum? so we have a 8mth baby. And not because he deserved it for having possibly unprotected sex. Imagine lending your new car to a friend who led you to believe they just needed to make a quick run to the Piggly Wiggly, only to have them return it to you totaled after having taken it on a weeklong bender in Vegas. April 9, 2012, 1:57 pm. I have no problem with single people with children who put their kids above the girlfriend/boyfriend and at the beginning of the adjustment period, over the new spouse. How long his new relationship has lasted. bittergaymark Seriously, this makes my blood boil. IF men want to engage in condomless sex and want a choice (which women DONt have btw, we dont TELL our bodies when we want our eggs fertilized and when we dont, I WISH we could that would be such an intelligent design feature!) He has made it clear that he wants a pregnancy to be terminated. It is my argument that only an ass would be furious at anyone other than himself when he becomes obligated to provide for a child that he created. He doesnt have to have a relationship with her, but like it or not, if hes a real man, he will be there for HIS child, and even his ex. Ive been in the position where I chose to keep my baby when the father wanted to abort. Now Im confused. That isnt misogyny. But even though I led you to think I didnt want to become pregnant, Im going to keep the baby and thereby obligate you to two decades of child support, is, while totally within her rights, still a massive breach of the pre-coital understanding, express and implied, between the parties. I think the LW here should wash her hands of this whole mess and stay away from the drama. After that, its not your choice anymore. Oh, and of course, hes also called a dick, and ass, and other choice names. It says there is no child at conception. Are you kidding? This is clearly a heated topic, so Im not sure were all being purely logical about it. Consider that this man is 40 years old, but still immature. But then, I guess I like giving people the benefit of the doubt. Hes obligated to financially support the baby, which he is willing to do. Unfortunately, your boyfriend may have gotten another woman pregnant. Guy Friday Any woman who, in a divorce, grants custody of the children to the father is an immature asshole, and any woman who spends her life in her career an allows the father to raise the children is an immature asshole, because, in each of those cases, the woman is just as guilty of abdicating the role of parent as the guy here would be, and in many of them, she also doesnt even provide financial support. People think LW is out of line, because she has no right to be pissed at this women for wanting to keep a child, and no right to make up reasons why she is having this baby in the first place. Sue Jones I mean, for starters, if I even had one unplanned baby while on the pill, Id probably not continue to use it. At some point you have to recognize your own self-worth and value, otherwise you will keep allowing him and others to walk all over you. It takes two to make a baby. it happens. Of course it is, but we have no way of knowing that the other woman was lying about that. The dude in your story is a pretty big idiot if he doesnt want to be a dada but the word of a woman he had known for two minutes that she was on the pill was enough to get him to bone her. It belongs to the child and the law is concerned with ensuring the best interests of the child above all else. That is a risk women take. Basically, he is dumping you and moving on. Both of those things cant be true, LW. Exactly; he sounds like a total loser, and how the hell would she ever be able to trust him going forward? It really isnt fair, but that doesnt mean we have to make it more unfair. thats just dumb. lets_be_honest I feel stupid once again and a part of me feels that he may come back to me again and I really dont want to be involved, but Im so weak and dont know how to let go. I had no idea most women hated it. Whatever happened to you to make you hate women doesnt have to mean a lifetime of whiny bitterness. Because otherwise, society would, if you could never work again and started collecting welfare, etc. Who are we talking about now? Your bf cant stop her from having the baby. I think both you and JR are twisting this around to make it sound like we dont like the dude because were prudes who dont believe in casual sex, or that were siding with the LW or something, when most of us actually said that we believe that the LW is as scumy as the dude. That is not acceptable. But, in that case as well I would have told the woman to make sure in the future she better protected herself. Give him another chance. April 10, 2012, 9:40 pm. April 10, 2012, 7:01 pm. Thanks for noticing, though. April 9, 2012, 12:52 pm. I think that is a pretty bad guess with how this guys attitude is towards things, and how badley he wants nothing to do with the child. You can have a spirited and logical debate, and still keep it interesting and above board. she should bear full responsibility for child care, because it is a decision she has made. My Ex Had A Baby With Someone Else And Wants Me Back Then how does the woman get off requiring the man to do it? And if you arent ready for a child, then use a goddamn condom.. He says he cant stand her? Ummm hes scum because he abandoned a woman he impregnated. What if she believes than an abortion is murder? Abortion does away with a potential baby- a life that will grow into a child if it continues to grow over the next several months-, and the other is walking out on an actual human being. 2. Guy Friday Rarely, does a woman bring a man on the show to announce that hes pregnant and the responds with Id prefer you have an abortion.. . Maybe she IS trying to entrap him. Because last I checked, saying dramatic things like we cant bear to live without each other was reserved for 16-year-old fans of poorly-written vampire romances. Until thats legally extended as you propose any man who doesnt exercise that option has no one to blame but himself when he becomes a parent. My husbands 2 month affair has ended with his girlfriend being pregnant But it also tries to say that the man had a part in creating the child. I know one 40yr old lady who got pregnant after having her tubes tied. Furthermore, why does this child need two parents? I dont see why this issue is any different. Out of my 5 closest friends only one isnt a fan. female Ive seen malarky thrown around quite a bit in this thread. Add your answer to this question! We have no guarantee that the mother will be as good a single parent as those mentioned in this discussion. In the same situation currently. April 10, 2012, 4:35 pm. The letter writers bf is furious at the woman having his child. Oh, good lord. Being on the Pill is akin to saying that youre not interested in having children, so I think its not completely invalid for him to assume she wasnt ready to have children, and to be angry when he ends up being forced into fatherhood.. Again, he has not opted out of the childs life. and he is furious with this woman for keeping the baby after only knowing each other two minutes. Her boyfriend has tripped over the third rail of reproductive rights, which is the question of mans obligations towards a woman who has become pregnant by deception. 3 Things I Learned from Stopping All Communication After My Breakup Thanks. Personally, I think they should be given a one-time option to opt-out if the woman wants to keep the child and the man doesnt. The fact that you can find examples of a law being broken doesnt make the law just or valid. Well technically for me it was the way he reacted to his potential child and nothing about the way he treated the LW or the woman in the letter. And its not because either sex is evil or worse than the other. She might not have been on the Pill, but that was a risk that he chose to take by having sex with someone he knew for two minutes without a condom. Adoptive parents are as capable as any others of deciding that having a child isnt right for them, that they werent as prepared for it as they thought, and that the child isnt really theirs, and theyre as likely to have other major negative events in their lives as anyone. Coke doesnt have to visit you in the hospital and make sure youre happy. No one is forcing any woman to have the child and much less to keep it. Fyrebyrd2 Sorry for any confusion! Dont get me wrong, the child should be taken care of and taken responsibility for but it can never be the reason why you do or dont stay together that decision should be based purely on the possibility for a good relationship between you grown ups. Its painfully obvious. I cried and felt so depressed. Also he could argue in court that the EXs fiance has taken on the role of father and the child would be damaged to find out that the fiance is not really the father. And this is the problem with having sex in a non-monogamous relationship and not fully protecting yourself. Like being pregnant is easy. Oh no! Start sinking down in the gutter, and no, Im not going to follow you there. It was unplanned and a . lets_be_honest I think hes scum because 1.- he asked the other woman to have an abortion and 2.- now hes mad that she didnt. Whether this guy decides to be a part of this childs life or not is up to his conscience. If a woman is raped and aborts a child, there is nothing to support. And shame on you for agreeing that he is entitled to this opinion. April 9, 2012, 3:33 pm, bittergaymark Also, he seems willing to abide by the laws. Therefore, unless a man has sex only with the intent of becoming a father and only with the intent of never being with another woman, he is an asshole. Its like the universe is all conspiring against us! Have you ever seen an episode of the Maury show or any other talk drama show? If a guy *does not* want to be a father, he shouldnt be having sex with women unless he knows, for sure, they have a similar attitude when it comes unintended pregnancy.. Im not exactly sure that the one million people currently estimated to be living in the U.S. would agree with you, but I am fairly certain the 500,000 dead definitely wouldnt. Cut your losses and get the hell out.

Dear Evan Hansen Speech Monologue, Articles W